Poisonous Glitterfarts.

My dreams scare me sometimes. Mkay, so the other night I dreamt:

I was walking into my room when this huge guy with a gun jumps out of nowhere, puts the gun to my head, and tells me to read Twilight. Since I really didn't fancy getting shot in the head I started reading. After a page or two Edward fucking Cullen jumps out of the pages of the book. The asshole looks around, grins, lets out this this loud fart, and runs away.

Now, fastforward about half a day in dream time. As it turns out, Glitterboy's fart was poisonous, and now everyone is going to die. I'm pissed as hell, and to make things worse the entire barely pubescent female demographic is defending the little twit.

Right, so I go to my family and tell them very calmly that we are going to drive to the mainland and take a plane to Denmark, because clearly the poisonous glitterfart won't have reached there. So we start to drive across the Bay Bridge to get to the mainland, but for some unknown reason we stop at this restaurant on the Bridge (about ten miles out over the bay). We walk in and food magically appears. As we're eating I look out the window and see this huge assed tidal wave coming toward us. It hits.
[/dream]

My head hurts now.